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hey, does anyone work at that school for the cripplingly stupid? cause one of your students cut today and he spent the afternoon in my living room.
see, around 3 pm, i walked out of my room and he was there on the couch playing video games. my roommate was nowhere to be found, but at the time i figured he must be one of his friends. little did i know he had skipped out on "how to tell your hand from your sandwich so you dont lose any more digits during lunch" class in order to come hang at my house.
i said whats up to him and then i left, but when i got in my truck i realized id forgotten my cell phone, so i went back inside to get it, and when i walked in, the dood says, "why do you have earrings"? and he said it as though he was offended and angry by them... like my earrings were transmitting telekinetic messenges about killing his mom or fucking his little sister. he said it like a normal person would say, "why did you cut me and then throw shit on my open wound?" or "why did you kill my entire family?". but no, he was asking about earrings. which is a completely fucking idiotic question in itself, seriously, is anything more obvious than the reason why someone wears earrings? thats like asking why do you have a face? or why do you walk instead of crawling with your face against the pavement? so i hesitated, and repeated the fucking riddle of the year back to him, saying, "why do i wear earrings?" and he then says, "yeah?" in a very suspecting voice, again implying that he had some inside information about my plugs secret plot to anally violate him. and then i reveal to him the complex solution to this mystery of the universe: "they look good." to which he responded snidely with, "if you say so." and just as my brain was to be sucked at light speed out of my ears from the gravitational force of an IQ black hole, one that sucks in intelligence instead of light, one located just behind this fucking fucks face, i managed to open the door and get outside before i lost the ability to operate a doorknob.
i was seriously just confused for a half an hour, and then i had to stop thinking about it. and dont think the dood was kidding or being a smartass... i wish. trust me id love to believe that. but no, tard tard was dead serious. he genuinely wanted to know why i had earrings. so yeah, that was the start of my day.
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1337hovie's journal
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tired